Okay, okay... so you might think that the title of my new blog sounds like I'm turning into a bitter, desperate surly hag on the verge of a nervous breakdown in this nightmare of a dating scene that inhabits NYC.... and you'd probably be correct!
Fortunately, this is exactly the reason why I've decided to start such a blog. I don't expect anyone to actually read this and therefore I will be expressing my heart out, using this platform as a way of dealing with my anguish over said nightmare dating scene in hopes to grow from these hellish experiences. Perhaps, I'll even find the funny and entertaining upside to the atrocities and monstrosities that I've commonly referred to as "last night's date". Yes, I am setting out to chronicle the hardships of being a 30-something single woman in this city... a journey of self-awareness and self-acceptance and perhaps a little self-deprecation too. (What? Every thing is funnier with a little sarcasm, isn't it?)
Let me take a few steps back to start... let me examine the love affair that brought me to this place of anguish and despair. It began many moons ago.... whilst I was just a High School girl replete with my Catholic school plaid, my frizzaliscious hairdo (or shall I say hair "don't") & my mouth full of tin. I was doomed from the start. Once I laid my eyes on the prize I never could get it out of my mop-topped head. My love affair was with the Island of Manhattan!
Excelling in Fine Art, and not much else (don't get me wrong, I was pretty decent at
creative writing and gym class but the general basics of math & science eluded me and still do to this day) and with a flair for wearing a "one-of-a-kind" wardrobe .... I dreamed of a place where one could excel with these types of unique talents. I dreamed of moving to New York City, where seemingly all of the socially-stunted, artsy-fartsy "diamonds in the rough" were to migrate to escape the bowels of a sedentary, mundane existence. I just never really felt that I fit-in in the Midwest; like I was born somewhere else and a stork really did fly through the air and drop me smack-dab in the middle of the country. I'm adopted (and gullible) so you never know- it could have happened!
That did not stop me from attending school in Kansas. Oh, what a fine experience it was too. I absolutely loved College! I'd have lived out my days there but realistically, how many degrees does one person really need? After getting just one (that's all my parents would pay for)... I found myself with a BFA (Bachelor of Fine Arts for those of you out there with a "real" degree) living back at home in St. Louis and scratching my still-frizzy head wondering how the hell I'd get myself to New York. How does one find a job as an artist? How does one find the money to move to the most expensive city in the world?
It was during this time that a little known HBO show starring Sarah Jessica Parker was just beginning to gain a following (me!). It was based in NYC and focused on the lives of 4 independent, beautiful 30-something friends. Always dressed fabulously and uniquely (thanks to Patricia Fields) it followed their inexplicably messy and unsuccessful love-lives. I was sold from the moment I saw "Carrie" get splashed by a city bus that actually had her own picture on it! Oh the irony! and OH! such great clothes!
Never mind the fact that the entire series is based on the impossibility of dating in New York & the trials and tribulations of said dating scene.... never mind that every single episode outlines the sheer and utter dismay these women face day after day as they strive to find what seems like it should be a basic human right: LOVE. Never mind the main message of the entire show! I was blinded by fabulous clothes and cherry red Cosmopolitan martinis. I simply had to get there. Besides, where else is an artist supposed to go to actually make a living doing art? If you can make it there, you can make it any where, isn't that what Frank said? And has anyone ever actually seen God and Frank Sinatra in the same room? You get my point.
Well, here I am, Manhattan, almost 10 years later.... "making it!" ...along with the other 15,000+ extra single women than men in this city (who were surely fans of SATC as well)! Yes, there are said to be 15,000+ more single women than men in NYC and that statistic even includes the gays! How do we stand a chance???
Yes, wearing fabulously unique shoes, I walk your beautiful city streets lined with shiny angular buildings a' plenty and the most interesting people you'd ever want to see..... alone. Yes, I walk alone.
I still love you, Manhattan... but I think I should start dating other people.
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